A Period of Time in the Life of
by QuikSylver
Summary: What do the characters of FMA do on a daily basis? Random drabbles about what happens in their day. T for language.
1. 8 Hours in the Life of Envy

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Wish I did... -sigh-

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8 Hours in the Life of Envy

3:00 a.m.

Woke up this morning thanks to Father's newest _creation._ Really, who needs a bloody Chimera that can run around your room screaming, "Wake up, naughty boy!!"

I didn't wait to find out. Suffice to say, the dog/parrot creature had soon 'mysteriously' vanished, after having been brought by a certain cute green-haired Homunculus to Gluttony's room and been subsequently thrown in. Its cries of, "Naughty!!" were quickly cut off by the sounds of chewing and all that.

Ho hum.

3:12

Wandered into the bathroom feeling considerably better, but then I looked in the mirror and _God_ was I a mess! (Not that I believe in absurd human notions like "God.") There were parrots feathers stuck in my hair and something sticky and white that smelled suspiciously like bird shit was slowly dripping down my chest, staining my sexy black top. Damn.

3:30

Took a shower and accidently used Gluttony's shampoo, which smells like bacon. _Bacon!_ I ask you... (Coincidentally, why does that fat tub of lard need shampoo anyhow? He's bald!) So now my hair smells like bacon... On the bright side, I used Pride's Axe shower gel... He'll never know. Unless he's watching me, being the creepy stalker/pedophile that he is...

3:32

Gluttony burst in and tried to eat my hair. I broke his neck and threw him out. Fat ass. Lust's probably going to be mad, but who cares? Oh wait, just remembered the stupid bitch is dead. Haha, good riddance.

3:33

Ewwww-my-God! I just looked in the mirror and my hair looks awful! It's all bunched together, instead of stringy and I look like a fucking transvestite!

3:35

Am rifling through the cupboard under the sink looking for hair products with which to fix my hair. So far I've come up with an almost full can of hair spray, a quarter full bottle of hair gel and half a can of mousse.

3:41

Tee hee. My hair's back to its normal, lustrous-self! It's all pretty and green... Like grass, only so much sexier... Mm, this hair spray smells nice...

4:01 a.m.

Greed just walked in. Cocky bastard. Hasn't he heard of knocking?

His hair is so black... Black and dark and empty...

"What the hell are you doing?!" he demanded, immediately covering his nose. I can see the Ouroboros on the back of his hand. What kind of retarded snake/bird Chimera would bite its own tail?

Oh well, pretty red color... Like blood! I like blood...

"Hair spray smells nice," I explained, spraying some at the newest Homunculus. (If you're not counting Gluttony, but I'm not. He's just the same as before.) I was trying to spray, anyway. Nothing came out.

I giggled and tried again. Still nothing. Naughty boy! I scowled at Greed. "You made it go away," I said resentfully.

"Whatever. You're probably high on it or something," Greed grumbled, stalking out.

Ooh, pretty pink label says, "Do not shake."

I giggled again and shook the can.

**_BANG_**!

4:07

Woke up again to find Father glaring down at me. Not the most pleasant experience in the world, let me tell you.

I saw up amidst the rubble formerly known as the bathroom. Oops.

"What were you doing using my hair spray?!" my creator demanded.

I sweat-dropped. "...I didn't know it was yours." What the hell did he use it for anyway? To slick back his hair? I snickered at the thought.

This reaction did not go over well with Father.

6:12 a.m.

Had to endure a ridiculous lecture about respecting others' property.

Hello, my name's Envy, remember?! Not Respect. Envy. Therefore, I don't respect people, I envy them! Idiots. And besides, that's a human concept. Homunculi are above that!

Didn't say that of course, otherwise the lecture probably would've gone on for 4 hours instead of 2.

To sum things up, I'm forced to tail Colonel Mustang for a week as punishment. I asked, "Isn't stalking more Pride's area of expertise?"

Now it's a month of Mustang-tailing. Sigh.

...Was that a joke?

And why does the Flame Alchemist need tailing anyhow? Wrath's got his most-loved subordinate, Hawkeye or something, as a hostage, so Mustang's really not a risk factor at the moment.

What the fuck is love anyway? The original Greed didn't even want it, so it must be some kind of over-rated human delusion.

7:30 a.m.

Changed into my sexy military form. If only the soldiers didn't have to wear such ridiculous uniforms. It completely ruins my hotness. (Well, not completely. More like it takes away about 15 percent of my hotness, so I'm only at 85 percent.)

7:36

Wrath's informed me that I've now been station under Mustang and I'm now to be called 2nd Lt. N. Vious. Haha, funny. Not. If I wasn't in such hot water with Father, I would've beaten the shit out of the old geezer.

Seriously, why the hell would Father want Homunculi that aged? I'll never understand that. Does that mean Wrath and Greed will die eventually, of old age? Or will they just spend the rest of eternity looking super old? Either way, you couldn't get me to do that if you paid me.

8:00 a.m.

Am sitting at the only desk in Mustang's office. Oh, how exciting life is. Dammit.

He's late. I thought all officers were supposed to come in at 7:45? Gr...

8:08

That Hawkeye woman just walked in. She's staring at me. I'm tempted to attack her, but she's a 1st Lt. My life sucks.

8:09

She's still staring at me.

8:11

Finally, she speaks.

"Where's Col. Mustang?"

Is that all she can think to ask? Come on a sexy guy like me, alone in an office and she asks where her former commanding officer is.

What. The. Hell.

How degrading.

I don't bother to answer. I sit in a dignified silence, glaring back at her.

8:14

Mustang's just entered. Hawkeye said something to him and left.

"You're in my desk," the State Alchemist said to me. Wow, aren't you the smart one?

"Sorry. But there weren't any other desks," I answered.

"...You're 2nd Lt. Norman Vious, correct?"

Norman. Norman?! Screw you, Wrath. I'm going to kick your ass when I get out of this job.

"Yeah. I've been assigned to watch you-- Er, work under you." Smooth. But who cares? I sure as hell don't.

"I see. Well, 2nd Lt., you'll have to go find yourself a desk, since the one you're currently occupying is mine."

Oh, the arrogance of this human. Father should have made him Pride. "Yes, sir." I stalked out in search of a desk.

9:24 a.m.

Didn't find a desk. I wasn't looking very hard, admittedly, but still, it's the try that counts. Or something like that...

But I found something much better!

Hair spray!

10:01 a.m.

Wrath just walked into the bathroom. He seemed upset.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT TRANSVESTITE PALM TREE?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH YOU SEXUALLY HARASSING ALL THE MEN THAT WALK IN HERE?! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF YOU'RE HIGH ON HAIR SPRAY! AGAIN!!"

Scratch that. He is upset.

His face turns a wonderful shade of magenta. Bring out the red in his eye.

...Hold on, why isn't he wearing his eye patch?

Oh, he took it off and gagged me with it. Tee hee.

He's still yelling, but I'm not really paying attention anymore.

The room's spinning nicely.

...Aw, the colors are fading... It's all black now, like Greed's hair... Empty... Dark...

10:59

I'm chained in Marcoh's old cell. Stupid bastard. Why'd that Ishbalan help him anyway?

Oh look, there's Father. He looks rather displeased. Giggle.

11:00 a.m.

Wrath's just come in with a nasty looking tranquilizer gun. Meep! ...Pretty colored feather sticking out of my arm... Greed's hair again...

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All right, I hope you liked it... You may not have, but that's all right too, because I'm happy with it. I'm not sure who I'll do next... Anyway, please R&R!

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	2. Just Another Day in the Life of Winry

Note: The previous chapter was set around chap 67 of the manga, even thought Gluttony hasn't been remade yet, but Father stated in chap 56 or so that he would remake the cute guy, so I put him in. :D

Also: This chap is set in the anime, sometime around the middle.

Disclaimer: Again, don't own FMA. -sob-

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12:43 p.m.

Edward just called. I think I may just have to kill him. Unfortunately, you can't attack people with wrenches over the phone. Sigh.

I think you can guess the reason why he phoned. I'll give you 3 chances, and here's a hint: It wasn't to just say, "Hi, Winry, how are you?"

No, no, of course not! It was more along the lines of, "...Winry? Please don't kill me, but I broke my automail again..." It was said all timidly, what a wimp!

Pissed off, I yelled, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BROKE MY AUTOMAIL, EDWARD?! HOW MANY TIMES IS THIS NOW, 50?! FOR GOD'S SAKE IF YOU DON'T STOP I WON'T FIX IT ANYMORE, DO YOU HEAR ME?! AND HOW THE **_HELL_** DID YOU MANAGE TO BREAK IT THIS TIME?! DID THAT CRAZY LIEUTENANT COLONEL HUGHES PUT YOU UP TO SOMETHING?!"

In the background I could hear Lt. Maria Ross whispering to Sgt. Denny Bloch, "...Maybe we should have just taken them to Rush Valley to get his automail fixed..."

"YOU LITTLE IDIOT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU--"

"I AM NOT LITTLE, DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME SOMETHING SO SMALL EVEN ANTS COULDN'T SEE IT!!"

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU STUPID RUNT! SHUT UP AND LISTEN NEXT TIME!!"

"I AM NOT A RUNT! YOU SHUT UP AND--"

"Brother! Give me the phone!"

Sounds of wrestling could be heard but ultimately Al won out because I heard him next.

"It was something I put him up to, Winry. It was foolish, and your automail ended up being eaten by Gluttony," the fourteen year old suit of armor said in his familiar-yet-strange voice.

"Oh, well that's all right then... YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE I BEAT UP WHEN I GET TO CENTRAL YOU IDIOTIC CAN OF CAT-FILLED TIN!!"

"...Eep!" There was a click that signalled the phone being hung up.

12:45

"Was that Edward and Alphonse?" Granny asked me calmly, not looking up from her examination of a middle-aged man who'd lost his left arm in a train accident.

"Yes, Granny. I have to go over to Central to fix Edward's automail," I explained.

"Well, you'd better hurry if you want to make the 1 o'clock train." She scribbled something on a sheet of paper and handed it to the man, who nodded and left.

"Yes, Granny." I ran upstairs to pack my tools and some clothes in my suitcase, taking extra care to put my trusty wrench, Mr. Wrencho in an easy-to-reach spot.

1:04 p.m.

Whew, barely made it. It's harder than you would think lugging around pieces of automail, a toolbox and a suitcase.

I'm staring out as scenery flashes by me. It's mostly a blur of green and a period splotch of brown as a tree whips past. It's pretty, in a strange way.

The train's empty, except for a guy with dark brown, almost black hair who keeps scaring at me. Creepy, no? To reassure myself, I took Mr. Wrencho out and stuffed him in my pocket.

1:11

Creepy Dark-haired Man has just stood up and is coming toward me. I pull my wrench out of my pocket as a precaution...

1:12

Oh, he was just going to the bathroom.

4:03 p.m.

Just arrived in Central. The Creepy Dark-haired Man turned out to be a Rather Nice Dark-haired Man, named Norman Vious who had heard of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, and had come to Resembool in hopes of seeing him, but since Ed was actually in Central he didn't get to. I told him he could come with me to see Ed if he wanted to and he readily agreed, so here we are, standing in Central Station.

Oh look, there's Major Armstrong. That guy is so weird. Oh, he's standing with Sgt. Bloch too, I just couldn't see him over the sea of hair.

4:12

Am sitting between Sgt. Bloch and Mr. Vious. Armstrong is driving for some reason and he takes up the whole front seat. Well, not really but I don't think any of us wanted to sit next to him in case he decided to take his shirt off so we used that as an excuse.

4:23

Arrived at the military hospital. It's just occurred to me that neither Bloch nor Armstrong have even asked who Mr. Vious is. They're not very professional.

4:26

Greeted by Alphonse, who's sitting outside the door to Ed's room. His left leg has been eaten. I'll beat him up when he's fixed; somehow it wouldn't be as satisfying if I beat him while he was injured.

Major Armstrong ushered me in.

The hospital room looked the same as the last one Ed had been confined in after the incident in Lab 5. (I still don't know all the details – maybe I'll beat them out of Al.)

"H-hi Winry," he said, giving a slight wave with his left arm which WAS IN A CAST!!

"Don't "hi Winry" me, Edward Elric! What the _hell_ did you do?" I demanded, in a foul mood. Armstrong and Lt. Ross, who had been sitting beside Ed's bed, were starting to edge out.

"And where the hell do you two think you're going?! How could you have let them fight one of the Homunculi, who we already know can eat through steel and the like?!"

The two soldiers froze.

"I-I was just getting a drink. It's thirsty work, sitting in a chair!" Lt. Ross said, looking embarrassed and indignant.

"And I was going to use the drink-getting skills passed down the Armstrong line for generations, to aid her," the burly State Alchemist added, looking on the verge of removing his shirt.

4:31

Armstrong's sitting in the chair, his shirt tied to himself. I don't think I could take the possibility of seeing his grotesquely muscled upper body yet again.

"W-Winry?" Sgt. Bloch had kindly offered to carry the suit of armor that Al's soul was tied to into the hospital room after I had subtly hinted ("SOMEONE BRING ALPHONSE IN HERE, _NOW!"_) that the younger Elric's presence was wanted.

"Yes, Alphonse?" I was busy making another arm for the older Elric.

"…Who's the man you brought with you? He was standing outside and making me nervous."

"Oh, that's Norman Vious. He was interested in meeting Ed, so I said I would bring him to meet you," I replied absently, quickly adjusting a one of the wires that served as his nerves.

"Oh… Well, he seems familiar somehow," Al mumbled.

"Whatever."

5:45 p.m.

Finished Ed's arm, finally. I just attached it and went to let Mr. Vious in. He had waited out there all this time, can you believe it? Pretty dedicated… Almost stalker-level dedicated…

"Er, hey Mr. Vious," I said, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Well hello Winry," he said kindly. "Is Edward's arm all fixed up now?"

I froze. I hadn't told Norman about Ed's arm! "…Yes, actually, but he's still, uh, recovering."

Actually, he was just fixing Al's body but if he already knew about Ed's arm, he could probably have guessed that too. "I'll just go see if he's up to having visitors—" I turned to leave but suddenly a rather manly woman's voice said, "I don't think so." Pale fingers that came out of a black fingerless glove grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip. Green palm frond-ish hair tickled my neck and striking violet eyes with slit pupils bored into my own, rooting me to the spot and rendering incapable of speech.

"What's this!?" Armstrong's voice boomed out from behind me. He was standing in the doorway of Edward's room, the ropes hanging limply around his buff form; his shirt was no where in sight.

The palm tree was temporarily blinded by the innumerable pink sparkles that seemed to appear whenever Armstrong was shirtless (and sometimes when he _did_ have a shirt on) so I managed to jerk my arm out of his grasp. Mr. Wrencho soon found his way into my hand and I proceeded to beat the Homunculus into an unrecognizable pulp of palm fronds, blood and black fabric.

"Hey, isn't that the Homunculus, Envy, brother?" Al asked, once again in possession of two legs.

"...I can't tell," Ed replied, squinting at the recomposing shape. "Let's wait until he's healed himself, then make Winry beat him up again--"

"YOU CAN'T 'MAKE' ME DO ANYTHING, EDWARD!!"

"Ask, he meant ask!" Al quickly interjected before this could erupt into a large-scale battle rivalling the one going on in Liore.

"...Fine," I muttered, glancing back at the now-reconstructed shapeshifter formerly known to me as Norman Vious but now known to me as Envy, one of the Homunculi that had threatened Ed in that idiotic Lab 5 incident that had nearly gotten both of the two Elrics killed...

Deep breaths, calming breaths... Think happy-ish thoughts... Like not having to use Mr. Wrencho whenever I see Ed and Al... Ah, that wasn't very happy-ish...

Calmed, I noticed that Envy seemed to be making his escape. "NOT A CHANCE!!" I hollered, pulling another wrench (not Mr. Wrencho; he was hardly ever thrown at someone) out and throwing it at the retreating Homunculus' green-haired head. "YOU WON'T ESCAPE!!"

"It's a tactical retreat, not an escape!" he yelled, spinning around angrily. The wrench hit him squarely in the forehead. Haha, 50 points.

Ed, Al, Armstrong and Ross all converged on the downed creature, Ed leading with a wildly flailing automail arm, compliments of yours truly. "YOU'D BETTER NOT BREAK THAT ARM, EDWARD ELRIC!!" I yelled to be heard over the sounds of someone being seriously owned. (Although, in fairness to him, it _was_ 4 against 1. But hey, why be fair?)

"WHOO GO TEAM!" Did I say that? I glanced around, but it seemed to have come from Sgt. Bloch. Hey, why wasn't he joining in the fray? Well, whatever. He _did_ seem a tad on the wimpy side.

7:30 p.m.

In the end, Envy was trussed up and carried away by Armstrong, with Bloch and Ross following, guns pointed at the Homunculus should he attempt to resist.

"So, uh, Winry, would you like to, uh, you know, er," Ed said awkwardly.

"What brother's trying to ask is if you would like to join us for supper. There's this party at the Armstrong estate, and all the State Alchemists in Central have been invited; it'd be rude to say no, so we have to go," Alphonse explained with a sigh.

"Oh, all right," I said, going over to collect my wrench. It looked a little bloodstained, but I just wiped it off and returned it to its hiding spot.

"Also, brother needs a date because every State Alchemist is bringing one," Al added, as if he had just thought of that little fact. "But you don't mind, do you?"

"AL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I BET COLONEL BASTARD WON'T HAVE A DATE AND I WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO FEEL LONELY ALL ALONE SO I WAS JUST GOING TO--"

"ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?! YOU HAD _BETTER_ NOT BE IMPLYING THAT, ED..."

And that's why I'm standing beside Ed outside the palatial mansion that Major Armstrong oh-so-innocently dubbed, "A quaint little place, about fifteen minutes out of Central." Even a giant like him would think this place small... Wouldn't they?!

Sigh... Anyhow, Lt. Ross (after taking Envy away) somehow produced a deep red, spaghetti strap dress that is extremely clingy and stops just above my knees. Black high-heeled sandals and impressively done hair complete the horrible look and I think I look ridiculous. The whole outfit is totally impractical and useless. Ugh...

And when Ed saw me, he just stared. Blankly stared.

He's nursing a Mr. Wrencho-sized bruise now.

Alphonse declined Ed's offer to come; he said it would just be awkward. As if it weren't already. ARGH!!

7:34

"So, Fullmetal, managed to find a date, eh?" said a kindly voice from behind us. We turned to see the Fuhrer and his wife.

"Y-yes, sir!" He saluted, looking how I felt. He was dressed in a tuxedo, but it looked comical on someone as short as him.

The head of the country smiled and led his wife past, into the gigantic complex.

He gulped. "Well, uh, shall we?" He winced and held out his arm.

I nodded, feeling nervous and took his arm. We walked inside.

I was completely unprepared for what awaited me.

High, off-white walls that gleamed in the dim light were covered with imposing self-portraits of the entire Armstrong line. Or so I thought. Major Armstrong appeared and remarked, "This entire hall is dedicated to my father's father and his family." He seemed excessively masculine in his bulging tuxedo, yet at the same time managed to pull of an air of feminism. (Or maybe that was just the pink sparkles sparkling about him?)

"Oh, right," Ed said, quickly leading me into a long dining room. "Just smile and nod," he muttered. "I hardly ever know what's going on at these things either."

"...K," I mumbled as we took a seat near the end of the table. Several moments later, Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist and Ed's commanding officer, slipped into the seat across from me.

"Hey, Colonel," Ed said in a bored voice. "Where's your date?"

Mustang glared at Ed. "If you must know, Fullmetal, the girl I was supposed to come with broke her leg trying to get into the shoes she was wearing to the party," he said in an annoyed voice, inspecting his fingernails. They were in those gloves all the time, so how could they possibly be dirty?! Or maybe that was just my inexplicable dislike of the man who had killed my parents talking. Either way, it was still unneccesary. "And besides, are your choices so _small_ that you had to go out with your mechanic?"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMA--"

"Edward," I said sweetly. "Leave the Colonel alone. It's not his fault he couldn't get a date." I glared at him, going for one of those 'If-looks-could-kill' thought inspiring death glares. It seemed to work, because the unflappable Flame Alchemist quickly started talking to the man beside him. Haha, take that, evil, parent-slaughtering man...

10:47 p.m.

Finally escaped the Armstrong estate! We were allowed to leave once the hard core drinking started, since we were underage. I thought I might die from relief.

Ed's promised to take me to Rush Valley again tomorrow, so that should be fun... Maybe I'll see Paninya again? Better get to sleep; the train leaves at 7 o'clock tomorrow. I'll call Granny and tell her then...

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I think this one's about 1000 words longer than Envy's... Whoa... Anyway, please read and review! Have any suggestions/criticisms? Feel free to write them in, or just send me a message.

I'm doing a chapter on Armstrong next... Not sure how that'll turn out... -evil grin- I'll try to have it up by Wednesday, for any who're interested...

-QS-


End file.
